Every scar tells a story…
When my life was spiraling down and out of control, there seemed to be nothing I could do to make it stop. It was like sand slipping through my fist no matter how tightly I held it.
I know many decisions I have made in my life were wrong and not at all congruent with who I am. Every day, I felt as if I were waking up to another nightmare – my life. What I was doing wasn’t helping myself in any way. It was a long period of nothingness and chaos. I had strong faith that there was light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel seemed never-ending.
I could hear myself every day saying, “I’m outta control, and the only way I will bounce back up is after I hit rock bottom. I’ve got to hit rock bottom!”
The reality is that that was my belief. I could have saved myself a boatload of trouble and money as well as an evening spent in jail if I had only understood how big of a role my mindset and attitude would play in the results of my actions.
I am not a huge believer in the fact that self-affirmations will deliver what you desire. I believe that we have a subconscious that will react to our conscious mind, especially when spoken to time and time again. So, what we say to ourselves and how we say it does make a huge difference in the results we see and who we become. This reminds me of a very famous quote:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
-Gandhi
My night in the jail for a DUI was my rock bottom. I kept telling myself day in and day out what I needed. I believe I set myself up for that. It is better to own your mistakes instead of living in denial. Regardless of my justifications and excuses, I do own the decision I made that evening, and it was far from a proud moment. People hide from situations where they would have to deal with their deepest fears. Left unresolved, these fears keep growing over the years and result in something chronic, affecting not just your minds but also your physical health. Hiding from situations is not the solution. Turning your eyes away from your fears doesn’t make them disappear. The effect could have a reverse reaction, worsening the problem over time. I finally opened the doors of my heart and released the sorrows that bogged me down when I decided to take control of my emotions. My pessimism had clogged my mind. It blurred my vision and stopped me from thinking through the temporary problems toward all the opportunities that lay beyond.
